Novels by Angela Dolbear

Novels by Angela Dolbear
Novels by Angela Dolbear

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Angela's (beauty from) Ashes

You ever have those times or events in your life that make you ask, "really?" and/or "seriously?" And you feel like you are at a loss of what to do or say (that won't lead you to being incarcerated or institutionalized)?

I had another such instance this past weekend...and yes, I said "another." Now I know why God doesn't reveal all the details of His plan for us before they happen because some parts of the plan would: one, make absolutely no sense; two, we wouldn't believe they could ever happen; and three, we might flat out refuse to go along with His plan.

Without getting into the details of the event (it wouldn't make sense to you anyway), it was a horrible thing that left me angry, hurt, confused, disappointed, angry again, then dumbfounded, then just plain wanting to quit the situation altogether.

That's when I have to remember my feelings don't tell the whole story. I have lay them aside before they strangle me and transform me into a snarling, grumpy, grudge-holding witch, and I need to take up the remembrance of what I know -- what I KNOW to be true. THE Truth. The truth that sets you free.

So after holding my head in my hands in fervent desperate prayer for several minutes, I looked over at a piece of paper at the top of my desk propped up between the keyboard and the monitor, with a Scripture printed on it and several lines highlighted in yellow. Like a razor sharp scalpel in the hands of a skilled Surgeon, those few words cut through the malaise of emotional madness causing it to melt away and disintegrate until all that is left is the Truth. The knowing.


Even though these types of events suck like a high-end upright Hoover, they serve a purpose. Part of His purpose. It strengthens my faith knowing He is always there, even in the sheer ugliness that life sometimes brings. He has and will always scrape away the residue and shine the beacon of His light. His truth.

Be anxious for nothing, He says. Truly. Lay aside emotions, doubt, fear and reach for knowledge where the strengthening of faith resides. Beauty from ashes.